To answer this question, you should first find the reasons why the partner does it. You will be surprised, but there may be quite good intentions behind the lies. Sometimes these intentions lie on the surface. They are easy to recognize and understand. And sometimes, a person themselves does not understand why they do it. This may be a habit that enters daily communication automatically. In this case, you need the help of a psychotherapist who will help you get to the bottom of the truth, help your partner understand themselves, and share this understanding with both of you.
Different Reasons for Lies: What Hides Behind Them?
Lying Because of the Desire to Please
A person ascribes to themselves heroic qualities or achievements, successes to please their significant other. Why do they want you to like them? Probably because you are essential to this person and they are interested in you. That is why next to you, they feel insecure, afraid to show their true entity. The way out of this fear is to put on the perfect mask. They lie because they do not want their weaknesses to get revealed.
Lying to Attract Attention
Your partner started secretly using dating sites like sweety dating. And they even boast to you about how popular they are among the opposite sex. What they expect from you as a listener is an attention and admiration. Sometimes there is no good intention behind the lies! If the person is continually lying to you for no reason, they disrespect you.
Lying Because of the Desire to Postpone Punishment
Have you ever heard this: “I’m on my way, honey! I’ll be there in 15 minutes!” And in the best case, they come in a couple of hours. Some people break records and come the next day because sudden circumstances ruined their plans. This person knows that they won’t keep their promises and that you have already gotten used to it. But they still promise! What will happen if they tell the truth and will not arrive on time? You are likely to unleash righteous anger on them. In this way, your partner is not ready to face this now, so they postpone the “punishment” for later.
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Lying Because of the Fear of Losing
They invested all their money in the business and lost everything. They were fired from their job and pretend that everything is under control, that things are going in the best possible way. How does a person feel at this moment? What are their thoughts of themselves to your mind? Most often, your partner thinks that they are a failure and that you do not need someone like that. They are afraid to lose you, so they hide how miserable they feel and act.
Lying to Avoid Consequences
By and large, any lie is done to avoid consequences. Suppose they lost their documents while drunk. That’s shameful. Or your partner cheated on you, and now they feel guilty and fear that you will leave. Fear, guilt, shame. Who wants to experience these feelings? Who wants their significant others to know about this? Of course, the truth will be revealed one day. But for the time they can, they will try to hide it.
How to Behave if they Lie Even on Trifles?
You cannot wean a person. Your partner is not a child, and you are not their parent. Take time to talk about this topic. Don’t start a conversation in a fit of rage. It will get you nowhere. Let the anger subside. Tell your beloved how you feel when they lie and explain that you are not there to put them down. You want to be open to each other. After all, lies mean a lack of trust. Ask the person why they do not trust you and always hide something. Lying makes you drift apart. Tell your partner that this pretending doesn’t make any of you good, and they should try to be honest with you.
If your partner is lying on trifles (“I bought the most expensive cheese!”, “I will be there in five minutes,” “It was me who put everyone in their place”), think about why this causes negative emotions in you. What do you think about yourself and about them at the moment? Why does this bother you? Maybe it is just the way they are. The other person is trying to get attention.
You will not find tips on how to expose a constantly lying person because it won’t get you anywhere. Well, you catch them on another lie, so what? The revealed liar will only close inside themselves more, take even greater precautions, and move away from you. Only an understanding of the real reasons can lead to a positive result.
How to Regain Trust and Love?
The answer is the same. Understand what made them lie. What feelings are they afraid of going through? Why is it difficult for you to trust them? Talk about your feelings, about what hurts you. If a person understands that you are in pain and continues to hurt you with their lies, then you should think about it. Is it worth staying in such a relationship?
